I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
