The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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