I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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