I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
