Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
