I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
So many bounce houses so little time
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
