Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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