that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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