I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
