I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
