"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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