Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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