tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
