It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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