last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
