I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Randomize
