Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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