Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
