I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
