i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
