whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
