Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i drank out of a bidet.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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