Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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