the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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