just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
