Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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