I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
