So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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