can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
