Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
