I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
