apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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