Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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