my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
