In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I need a beard to bite.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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