Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
