I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
