sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
