jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
