Your dad touched me again.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
