I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
