I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
