I wish you could order shots online.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
