So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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