I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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