And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
