So gin and wine won't be happening again
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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