You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
