Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
