I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
