it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
