At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize