I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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